We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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