I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
