We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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