a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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