I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
