He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
