I wish I could teleport
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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