He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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