We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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