At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
why do cheetos always look like penises
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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