my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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