Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
