The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
