Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
