We're like a lot better than the average bears
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
