It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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