She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
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