It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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