I'll bet she douches with gravy.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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