Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
