Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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