At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
