haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
