cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
