I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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