it hurts more in the daytime
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize