i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
