My nipple is on Facebook.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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