I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
