hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
