he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
