he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize