that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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