Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
