would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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