And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Randomize