can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
