i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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