it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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