omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
