Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I deserve this hangover.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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