Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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