she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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