So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
