Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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