Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
