your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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