and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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