So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
