Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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