Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
