I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
All the doctor said was why
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
