1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
