i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
