and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Randomize
