At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
This baby is an asshole
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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