did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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