I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Randomize