My pussy is not your playground.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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