Christians are straight up FREAKS
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
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