hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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