he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
