just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
